At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm passing your future prison.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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