Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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