Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
