I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
