Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
