I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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