RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
