I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
