I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
