i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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