But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
