porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
time to smoke my breakfast
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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