Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
