I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
