Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
