I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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