its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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