What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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