I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
