I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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