Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
