I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
