I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
