the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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