if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
