If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
