I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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