I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
