i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
