omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
