Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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