I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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