Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
