Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The air taste purple.
Randomize
