lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
