i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
