you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
