dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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