Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My life is pants optional.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
