she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
operation harelip BJ is a go
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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