so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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