i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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