Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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