I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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