whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
