It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
