Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.

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(562): View more from California

tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

(714): View more from California

and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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(224): View more from Illinois

Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.

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(705): View more from Ontario

The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?

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