Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
