My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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