Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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